Up Hills and Back Again...January 15, 2022

These visitors come, you know them too. Last week it was Time. Today it is Desire. And I remember her well, for she visits us all.

She came when Mama Ada whispered...Come to Kenya and meet my people. My head blurted out no, it isn't possible, stubborn with logistics and fear and all. But Desire said yes, we will find a way, I will go with you.

So we climbed that hill to the sky, and saw the African moon too. Desire took me there, the most encouraging of all. She stood by as I held out my hand to new people who are old friends now.

And Desire spent last year with me, when I crawled into tubes and scans, where doctors looked into the mystery of my trouble. She held my hand, as I lay frozen in fear with breath stuck, unable to move.

Yes, Desire came along and she whispered...Come to your heart and meet your people.

She held pictures of when my sons were born and I reached out to hold them. Of when Peter asked me to marry him and we laughed and loved and made plans together. Of when I hugged one friend or begged forgiveness from another. When I ate a chocolate scone or sat with my cat...when I stood by a lake at sunset or chatted with a stranger about the weather.

Then I looked at Desire with tears falling all around and everywhere...it is so very beautiful and I want more of it...I want to live, I want to live, I want to live, yes.

She smiled kindly, for she had known before I knew. And Desire promised to stay with me and hold my hand, as tears fell over and again, for one and 30 and even more tube visits.

So I lived with her for a long time. Alot of days we couldn't do much or make smart action plans, but we had each other, just me and Desire.

And she was enough.

When Desire comes to visit, there is no need to invite others. Now when she shows me pictures of fast walks around Lake Harriet or yoga classes with warrior poses, I believe her...

...because she is someone who says Yes...I will try, I will strive, I will go there to see what happens. And she knows there is no need for guarantees to make a trip worthy and right.

Let her be enough.

Believe and trust and remember that Desire can take us around the world and up big hills and back again, if only we take her hand and...

...say Yes.