Learning to Surf...August 19, 2021

My health misadventure has taught me to surf. Not on an ocean but on my tears. Perhaps you know this surfing too...I bet you do.

Tears come, and always a surprise in the middle of something...and then I am all out sobbing, with little hitches of breath. It lasts for awhile, then gradually or quickly lessens and stops. Sometimes I am alone, sometimes with another, bearing witness.

After my diagnosis and still sometimes, it was the sadness of my tumor, this uninvited guest, that broke me. The sheer and utter and awful sadness of it all. Not anger or disbelief but sadness that caught me, covered me.

And so those tears came and come, somehow giving words to grief. But the thing I am learning to trust is that my weeping is only one moment, not my month or year and certainly not my eternity. Tears do dry, cleansing and readying us for the next moment, in our bravery to shed them.

Hearts mend.

My grandma Grace often said to me...when life is up it will go down and when life is down it will go up. On this we can depend.

So riding the waves of tears...and holy moly...it is really a beautiful ride when the tears are wept and done...at least for now.